Why "Why?" Is The Most Important Question You'll Ever Answer As A Parent

This past week, Matt and I visited the Jacksonville Zoo -- full of children, most of them pretty well-behaved (and lots of room to get away from the ones that were being obnoxious!) As we were checking out the black leopard, I felt a small person attempting to shove in front of me. I was initially impressed when his mother pulled him back and told him not to do that again. But then he asked, "Why?" and she said, "Because I told you so" and I just wanted to scream!

The Daycare Dilemma

I just spent time this past weekend with one of my PNB (parent-not-breeder) friends, and we had a lengthy conversation about child care. I told her about a little experiment I had been conducting between two of my other friends with kids (unbeknownst to the parents, of course!) This bit of social science relates to whether it's better over the long run for children to have a stay-at-home parent or to go into daycare.

Yes, Dr. Laura -- Sometimes Divorce Is The Best Choice For The Kids

I just learned this week that some friends of ours who have two small children are divorcing -- and knowing what their relationship has been like over the past few years, I think this is actually a good thing. I know that Dr. Laura would disagree with me, but sometimes, calling it quits can be the healthiest thing possible for the kids.

100 Humorous Reasons To Stay Child-Free

It seems that parents always want to tell us child-free folks about the many fantastic reasons for having kids -- all of which usually revolve around holidays, birthdays, trips to the zoo, and what an angel that little bologna-loaf is while sleeping (with little mention of the noise and mess that accompany the remaining waking hours!) I can't help it -- I just feel the need to rebut when this happens.

Finding Help For Kid Addicts

I was just reading an article online about "child addiction." I initially thought that they were talking about either pedophiles or media morons like Octamom and Brangelina (who can't seem to accumulate enough little ones to suit their needs.) But this is a different issue altogether. This piece was written by a stay-at-home mom who compared her children to heroin, and suggested that her preoccupation with them kept her from being able to function properly in mainstream society. Nice!

Which Kind Of No-Kidder Are You?

When I explain to a parent (or potential parent) that I'm a "no-kidder," I often get a sidelong glance that tells me they aren't 100% sure what that means. Do I hate children? Am I a threat to the traditional nuclear family? Not at all. While I do have some child-free friends who truly cannot stand children, not all no-kidders are like that. To help clarify the issue, I've developed a cheat-sheet explaining the different styles of being voluntarily childless.

Hey Moms -- You Can't Have It All, So Stop Trying!

A friend of mine is going through a crisis of identity right now -- she feels that focusing on her daughter is slowing her climb up the career ladder, but she also worries that putting more time into her job is going to cause her to neglect her child. She's laboring under the misapprehension that if she just organizes her time a bit better, if she just puts in a little more effort, she can do it all. Well, I'm sorry to disappoint, but it's not going to happen!

Paid Maternity Leave? Sure -- If I Can Have 6 Paid Weeks Off To Write A Novel

I have a friend who is pregnant and preparing for her maternity leave. I happen to be working on a book, and I commented to her that I'd love 6 weeks off to do nothing but write. My friend (who is an artist) agreed that the creative process is a lot like childbirth (imagine Athena springing forth from your forehead!) -- and we both decided it's unfair that, as a no-kidder, I wouldn't be given the same paid leave to bring my own "baby" into the world. Discrimination!

The "Fragile" Generation

I was out for a run this week at a nearby park -- I stopped for a break by the playground and watched a few kids trying to kill themselves on the monkey bars while I caught my breath. Very enjoyable -- except for the one mom who hovered over her grade-schooler, squawking like a distressed hen every time the kid made a move. I'm sure that she was just "protecting" him from this dangerous world -- but that poor child is going to grow up paranoid, hypochondriac, and afraid of his own shadow!