Choosing Smaller Decorations

While I would love to hang corpses from the trees, set up tombstones in the yard, and string a gigantic spiderweb across the walkway to capture small children -- it's just not feasible in our current lifestyle. I'll admit that I was disappointed, having to get rid of my big jar of eyeballs that sat on the back of the toilet (Matt wasn't in the least bit upset -- he never liked that particular piece of decor!) But not owning the oversized stuff doesn't bother me any more than our lack of a big-screen TV or a king-sized bed, because we're perfectly happy with the smaller version. When I had to scale down my Halloween decorating, I scoured the seasonal stores and looked at what was available. It turns out that I had a ton of creative options that didn't take up much space.

I found some fabulous bloody handprints made of that gooey stuff that sticks to walls -- they take up only a few inches of space, look frighteningly realistic on our front window, and rinse clean with water. The suction-cup spider web that we stick to the bathroom mirror lays totally flat in my storage box (flat is ALWAYS good!) "Quoth," the raven, sits on top of the television (saying "Nevermore" when a commercial comes on...) We got a baby-sized light-up pumpkin for indoors (we still do a real pumpkin for outside, but Matt likes to fall asleep with a small orange vegetable grinning at him -- don't ask me why!) And thanks God our Airstream front door can accommodate the stuffed severed arm we carry around the country (complete with dripping nail-polish blood) -- we've had that since college and it's one of my favorite decorations. It always scares the hell out of the UPS guy, and last year in San Francisco, someone put a spider ring on one of his fingers (I love it!)

I've also made some of my own decorations, which is tons of fun. I got a set of unpainted wooden nesting dolls and did a "creepy" series -- Frankenstein, Dracula, skeleton, ghost, and jack-o-lantern. I have to agree when people point out that none of them is particularly scary looking (and it's hard to make Frankie's head look blocky when he's shaped like an egg), but they have personality and they make me smile! I got some modeling clay and made three little pumpkins with cloves for stems, that sit in a basket of excelsior and fall leaves. I even have two "baby" pumpkin heads, one yawning and one sleeping, that I painted and fired in high school (the only really "breakable" things I brought with me, but they were too cute to give away). I even used to have a great glowing ghost I made of molded cheese-cloth and a light-socket up his tailpipe -- but he was nearly 20 years old and finally "gave up the ghost" (ha ha!) after last year's festivities. Note to self -- need to make a trip to Jo-Ann's on November first to get supplies for a replacement.

The Joy Of Anthropomorphization

When I was a child, decorating for the holidays was a serious multi-day affair. My mother had so much stuff to put out, the only way to make enough room was to empty the house. Vases, figurines, silk plants, candles, whatever nick-nacks were sitting out got stored away in the attic, and my mother drug out boxes and boxes of themed goodies to replace them. Of course, that just wouldn't cut it for us -- as a full-timer, you don't have the space to pack up all of your "everyday" decor to make room for the holiday stuff. And I frankly don't want to have to invest more than about 30 minutes of my time each holiday (love the decorations, hate the work!) So I learned a fun space-saving trick early on -- simply dress up all of your household critters!

Our first Halloween on the road, started at the "pet costume" section -- where I found a little doggie t-shirt that says "trick or treat" for my stuffed bear to wear and a miniature witch's hat for my happy cat. Then I moved on to the "accessories" department. Fred (my ceramic mask) got some lovely oversized clown sunglasses -- Ganesha was outfitted with a pair of foam devil horns (it's fun to mix religions) -- the Tiki in the bathroom is ready to battle evil in his superhero mask -- and the metal cat candle holder now sports a set of Groucho glasses. It cost me all of about $10 to dress everyone, set-up and break-down take only minutes, storing these items requires almost no space in the off-season, and I can leave my cherished treasures out all year long. A win-win-win-win!

And for those of you who are curious, we do not put the cats in costume -- they simply wouldn't tolerate it. I have considered spray-painting them black for the month of October, but that seems a bit out of line with the "green" life we're trying to lead. And I've had my black cat (very good luck, he was) -- so I'll stick with white for now. Besides, they're pretty scary without any extra help!